In a busy few days prior to the marriage of two close friends, in which I was an usher, I was left with one problem - getting some new shoes. Being laid back to the point of being disorganised, i was rescued by my fellow usher and his very kind girlfriend, who ordered me some shoes over the internet. Yes, i thought, problem solved and no sign of sweat. The shoes arrived 1 week before the wedding, and I went to collect. To my dismay I had given the wrong size for the shoes and had been furnished with two brown leather canoes. Oh dear,, this of course wouldn't do, so the shoes were returned forthwith. Over the next 6 days an anxious waiting game was played out for the replacements which was only resolved the day before we travelled to the wedding. Having tried and collected the shoes I returned home triumphantly, ready to pack my bags and get a good nights sleep. Unfortunately, my flatmate's cat had other ideas.... (My flatmate had been away for a number of weeks and I had been left in charge of feeding and maintaining a functional litter tray - the later i had neglected). So I left the shoes in the living and went to pack, in my room where I was joined by the cat. Returning to the living room (having started to cook dinner) i was greeted by the sight of a big cat poo sticking out the top of my shoe and running down it's side. Minutes later I emerged from the bathroom, having successfully tackled the problem and with some slightly soiled new shoes, I went to berate the cat. As the cat left my room I cast my eye to where the cat was sitting and spotted a very large wet patch on the bed. A quick smell check confirmed my fears, hastely I gathered my bed clothes for an emergency wash. In this time the cat had gone round to sit on each sofa and even the dinning table, to yes, the exactly same effect as previous. I then inspected the cats behind to see that she had indeed made a right mess of herself. I locked her in the bathroom to do her worst in there. I then proceeded to clean up her trail of destruction and enjoy a very cold dinner. Last job was to corner the cat in the bathroom and attempt to clean her arse (i thought cats were clean). I don't know how many people have tried to wipe their cats bum before but i can say it is not an easy task to perform, and the neighbours must have wondered what the noises were.. I went to bed very tired and woke up to my alarm 5hrs later.