The Emergency Room
Housemates from hell
Not sure if this should have been added in the "Never Been so Embarrassed" section, but as it happened to be my flatmate I thought I'd add it in here.
So I'm sharing a house with a real party girl at university, she's great fun but a bit too much sometimes, I'm in the living room one night watching telly and she's in her room "entertaining" her latest man. All of a sudden he's out the front door like a bat out of hell and she's in her room crying loudly. I assumed that they'd had an argument so went to her room to see if she was ok...
I find her still naked holding a hand mirror between her legs, turns out they'd been playing with food during sex and while he pleasured her with half a cucumber it had formed some sort of vaccum and been sucked all the way in !
I couldn't quite bring myself to help her, so instead suggested I drive her to the emergency room.
After hours of waiting it turns out to be quite a job for the doctor to remove it, cucumbers are water based and it had expanded inside her.
The worst part of the whole night was the fact that the doctor seemed to think I was her lesbian lover and had been the genius that had suggested the cucumber in the first place !!!
Never been so mortified :(
