Curry-mare

A few weeks ago a load of us from work went out on a Friday evening for a few social beers. Naturally, a 'few' beers gradually turned into a full-blown boozing session. Whilst attempting to play pool, one of my mates started telling me about the previous night's drinking session and how he'd got so smashed and gone into an Indian restaurant and had a full sit-down meal all to himself at 2am. We laughed, called him a glutton and the story was forgotten.

A few hours later, we decided to leave the pub we were in and head to somewhere with a bit more going on. Upon arriving at a club, I was refused entry by the door staff for appearing too drunk (they were probably right), so I told my mates to carry on without me while I went and got a taxi home. On the way, I suddenly remembered my friend's tale about the curry the night bvefore and decided that that's what I needed - and told the driver to take me to the nearest takeaway.

I got my curry (no idea what type it was, but it was the colour of blood) and walked the rest of the way home after popping into an off-licence on the way to buy more cans of lager...

The next thing I remember is waking up at 4am collapsed in a heap on the living-room floor still clutching a crushed takeaway container and a carrier bag of tinnies. Naturally, the curry in the container had escaped from it's foil-based prison and spread all over me, the carpet, the walls...fucking everywhere. I then went to bed, still covered in curry. Later that morning I awoke with the hangover from Hades with the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I'd done something terrible the night before. I went downstairs to find the place like something out of CSI - red curry everywhere - not only in the living room and all over the beige carpet, but all over the walls in the form of red handprints, in the fridge, all over the kitchen floor, on the radiators, on the curtains, on the furniture...

To make matters worse, that was the first weekend in my new house - a house shared with two clealiness-obsessed girls (I'm a guy), one of whom I hadn't even met yet. What an introduction.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of Saturday frantically cleaning the place up before my housemates saw it. I succeeded and they still don't know! (although if you know where to look you can still see the faded grease stains throughout the house)

The moral of the story? Don't mix bitter, lager and cider with vodka and then attempt to eat a red curry in a beige room.

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